Heys, I thought I might add my avatars that I've made so that you can all see them.
And if you want, you can use them.
If you do use them, please make sure you credit me. (zebrawhocankickass)
Cheers.

Muse

  1.   2. 3.
  4.   5. 6.
  7.   8. 9.
 10.11.12.
 13.14.15.
16.17.18.
19.

And gifs...

20.21.22.
23.24.25.

Please remember to credit and enoy :]

I'm going to have a massive motherfucking rant because I am feeling sooooooo SHIT! I haven't felt this shit in ages. And I'm going to do it here because none of my friends from school have me on here so my bessies won't find out and get 'concerned' about me. 
So i'm going to be completely trueful and actually say what I usually keep couped up because I know what my friends usually say - The whole fucking lecture shit. LOOK MATE! I THINK I KNOW! I STILL DIP INTO FUCKING DEPRESSION EVERY NOW AND THEN! One of them being now.
I'm actually scaring myself. I am so fucking miserable. I'm crying. Ok, big deal, I'm crying. But I don't cry. I always have fucking walls that stop me. Even when I'm on my own. I'm worse than a fucking guy. [sorry to be so stereotypical] But right now, they've crumbled. And I ahte it because it's not a good old cry. It's just a few sobs that are completely dry. No fucking tears. You don't know how frustrating that is. And I'm actually scaring myself not because I'm crying but because I feel so fucking miserable that I actually have had a few thoughts about slitting my wrists. I mean....shit. I will never never NEVER EVER fucking do that again. It fucking hurts in the shower afterwards. I just want to lash out and I can't because stupid parents are downstairs. I then thought hey! you're 18 now, you can get some alcohol. I'm not going to go down that fucking road neither. 
Helen, you are much stronger than this. Get your fucking act together.
Thing is, I have no motivation at the moment. School has drained me. They're pressuring me and I'm trying so fucking hard. Last year, I did shit in PE as level. I got an E. They want to try and get that up a C. Two grades.
TWO FUCKING GRADES!
And I have tried so fucking hard. I've put so much effort into it. I've hardly thought about Media or Drama which I want to both try and get an A in. And those subjects both involve teamwork and I just keep thinking I'm not putting any effort in and am going to let my team down. And do you know what...I'm still fucking behind in PE. I still don't get the work. I try working at home but because I'm working all the time at school, in both my frees too, my brain is so dead that I think fuck it. And then my parents moan at me constantly being on here, constantly seeing me on TAM. Well HELLO! I DO NEED A FUCKING BREAK!
I don't think the shifts that I now work help meaning that I only actually get ONE night off out of the whole week. But it's only 3 hour shifts and I need that money. for all the festivals next year and gigs that I want to go to and to start saving up for New York so I get out of THIS GOD DAMN FUCKING PLACE! 
AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHH!UIJEGBRVUIRW8IGBRGOW'P3YT [05B6.34/QO0P-ILHGCD
FUCK!
I haven't felt like this in a long time. And I keep thinking back to the time when I first cut myself. which is not helping. It's just making me scream inside all the more. NO! HELEN! FUCK! STOP IT! 
I just want to run away. 

And it's been a fucking great week too! I had my 18th birthday. Went out with my mate, Mike. Love him to bits. And then had my party. Played for the 1s [hockey team] the next day. Then Thursday saw MCR. SO GOOD. Then saturday played for the 1s and played the best I've played all season. 
And now I'm like this. 
Fucking great.

That pretty much sums up how I feel right now. 

Fucking great.

Ok, so this is my Muse fiction which I thought I would post on here. I've posted it on a board - TAM. And so I thought why not here, just to see what other people think...

Title: Easily
Author: zebrawhocankick
Pairing:
Rating: R
Summary: Chris owes Matt money but doesn;t has it and so faces the consequences...
Warnings: Sex, quite a bit of swearing and violence. I have warned you.
Disclamers: I don't own any of the members from Muse or Tom. :(

It was a dark November night. A dark wet November night. It had been miserable all day. Wet, cold and miserable. The expression on Christopher’s face didn’t help. It was one of those stone-cold facial expressions. If you walked past him you would avoid him. 

He wrapped his black coat around his arms to try and get some warmth although he knew it was impossible. His coat was soaking wet, making him more miserable. Fucking great weather, he thought. 

He stooped his head low to stop the rain dripping down his nose when he saw a silhouette of a man appear just on the corner, by the big tower of flats where Chris lived. 

Tonight, the man that had just appeared was wearing a black coat similar to Chris’ but it was unbuckled showing off a black scarf worn as a tie. His white trousers matched the white shirt that he was wearing. 

Always putting on a show, the creep, Chris thought as the man walked nearer, followed by two men. 

‘Good evening, Christopher. Lovely weather we’ve been having.’ Chris nodded and looked away from the man. ‘I see someone doesn’t like the rain. Cheer up, it maybe raining but that’s usual in this country. You should go to Italy if you don’t like the weather here. Got more sunshine. I might take you there one day. You’ll like it. Good weather. Coffee is good. Oh and the women are gorgeous. You’ll definitely like it.’

Chris stared daggers at him. Just get straight to the point, Chris thought. 

‘Well as you don’t like the weather, we’ll get straight to the point.’ His black hair was sticking to his forehead with raindrops sliding down the side of face and then down onto his neck. He didn’t flinch as the cold raindrops soaked his skin under his pristine white shirt. He just stared defiantly back at Chris. ‘Where’s the money?’

Shit, Chris thought realising that the moment had come. 

He continued to stare at Chris. The two men behind him stared at Chris. Nothing was said for many moments. All that was heard was the pouring of the rain, hammering on the nearby roofs of the garages. He could see that Chris was empty handed, even though his hands were now in his pockets. Yet he asked again.

‘I am going to ask again. Where is the money?’ 

Again nothing was said for several moments. All that was heard was the downpour of the rain, the tinkling sound it made as it filled the many potholes around the estate. 

‘I don’t have the money.’

‘You don’t have the money.’ Chris nodded slowly, his heart thumping. He thought it was going to jump out of his chest. He was breathing very heavily and fast. He tried to look as calm as he possibly could but it was obvious that right there looking back at the eyes that had turned very dark, he was shitting it. Chris continued to look into those eyes when the man with the darkened eyes started to clap very slowly and pathetically.

‘Well done Christopher. I really must congratulate you. That was such a brilliant answer. Such a fucking. Good. Answer. You don’t have the money.’

Chris felt a sudden sting of pain shoot into the back of his head as he was slammed hard against the garage door. A hand was round his neck, scratching the sides of it as he saw white teeth snarl back at him spitting saliva onto his face.

‘I can see you don’t have the fucking money.’ He let go of Chris’ neck. ‘I told you to have the money by today or face the consequences.’ 

Chris fell to his knees having felt another flash of pain. He protected his crotch as he fell to the floor as the man kicked him again, and again, this time on the shinbone. Chris couldn’t help but let out a small yelp as he lay on the wet pavement. He felt his head being lifted off the ground via his hair. He winced as spit was thrown into his ear.

‘I tell you to get the money today and you obey me. Instead you fuck around with me, wasting my time. Time, which I haven’t got. Do not fuck me around. I have been patient with you and yet I am still waiting for that fucking money. Now you face the consequences.’ 

He threw Chris’ head back down into the muddy puddle and wiped his hands on his coat. 

‘That girl of yours, what’s her name? Emily?’ He smiled at the other two men who smirked back, all looking at Chris on the floor. 

‘You leave her alone!’

Chris felt another kick, this time in the stomach. He gagged as his head was roughly lifted from a cold hand at the back of his neck. He closed his eyes as he heard the menacing voice once again in is ear. 

‘Leave her alone.’ It mimicked followed by a small evil laugh. ‘How old is she now? 18? 19?’

’17 and I said leave her alone.’ He winced as he felt cold hands grab his face roughly, pinching his cheeks. 

‘Ooo! She’s pretty good looking for her age. Wouldn’t you say so, boys?’ He turned his head towards the two men, but still looked at Chris with a mocking expression on his wet face. ‘I bet she tastes delicious.’ 

He pushed Chris down onto the floor and stood up straight looking at the two men who were smirking back at him, walking towards Chris.

Chris was in so much pain; the white was beginning to blind him. But he was still angry. If he laid one finger on her…

‘I said leave her alone. Leave her alone. Do you hear? Leave her alone!’

His shouts were muffled as Dom and Tom began punching and kicking him. 

All that was heard was the pouring of the rain, hammering on the rooftops of the nearby garages and the thumps and the grunts as two men beat up one man. All that was heard was the downpour of the rain, the tinkling sound it made as it filled the many potholes around the estates and the splashes as someone was dragged on the rough pavement into one of the garages. All that was heard was the thunder beginning as a garage door closed and a man stood alone.

Then Matthew Bellamy just walked away with a little smile creeping onto his face.

I've finally made an account on LJ. I have no idea what I'm doing so yeah. 
Don't really know what I want to say....Errrrr...Any Muse fans out there?
*gives love and cookies*

I'll write something better next time.